Yea, sometimes it does suck.
I didn't sim. you specific game but did use some of the pre-packaged sims in BJRM to get some numbers that may help.
4.5/6 S17 DAS nLS
HiLo with I18 and Fab4
4 players
$20,000 bankroll
The betting scheme below is that which maximizes DI. The ROR is then 13.5%. The spread in each case was 1-20. The numbers are also for play-all. Since you've been leaving at TC < -1, the DI for you game will be a little better.
TC 1 hand 2 hands
<=0 $15 $10
1 $56 $45
2 $141 $110
3 $212 $165
4 $296 $204
DI 5.11 6.16
The SD/100 for the 2 hands case is $1231.
Using the trip calculator for the 2 hands case indicates for 50 hours and 75 hands per hour your result will fall between -$4696 and +$10,382 68% of the time.
Risk is relative, but I would say that your current style has been a little aggressive (read relatively higher risk) and you've had a run of bad luck. You might consider dropping your bets in positive counts (limited in negative counts by table minimums) to 1/2 or 1/4 of what they are currently. Also, when you play two hands you might consider bets on each hand that are closer to 73% of your bet on one hand.
By way of the encouragement that you wanted, I personally don't think you've done that badly. The cards haven't been with you, but that will always happen off and on and at least here you might benefit by looking closer your game plan than you would have if you had experienced a run of good luck. I know it's not much of a consolation.