I have recently discovered the greatest casino that I have ever come across, and I want to share it with you. I have been playing at this casion almost daily for some time now, and I can tell you it is so much better than anything else around that it makes me giddy just to talk about it.
At this casino they let you stand around and watch the action all you want, and when you notice signs of winning, it seems like there's always room to jump right in and join the party. The guys in the suits are real helpful, and they don't even care how much you spread your bets. You do need a small wad to play here, but the house will lend you half of the money to make your big bets with. I swear I'm not making this up.
At this casino there are no shuffle machines, no eyes in the sky, no rude dealers, no sloppy shuffles, no bad cuts, no clumped cards, no cigarette smoke, no bad smells, no endlessly clanging slots, no ploppys and no heat whatsoever.
And did I mention the rules? The rules are quite possibly the most favorable in the world. They are so good, in fact, that the player has the advantage and nearly always ends up winning.
As ever, it is best to practice good principles of risk management, such as sizing your bets with the Kelly Criterion or some similiar scheme, so that you make sure you lower your wagers when conditions are poor and raise them when they are good.
Oh, yes, the place does have a few quirks. It's open only six and a half hours a day, from 9:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday through Friday, and the house does demand a very small cut of all the action. Other than that, it's an advantage player's dream come true.
What's the name of this casino? They call it Nasdaq.
