Spousal Abuse .........

is worse than skilled player abuse anytime. In clarifying, I often wonder how many great counters have gotten washed completely out of the business because of too much consecutive negative variance resulting in spousal disagreements. I assume it happens a lot. I can visualize a spouse that just can�t handle it and just doesn�t want to hear any more explanation about negative swings, variance is just what happens, it happens to the best in the world, it�s part of the long run etc. etc.. Many of us who are still playing have to battle the family�s perception of us, such as: spends too much time at it for the returns, may be a compulsive gambler, could make more money at a traditional business for the same amount of effort and investment with a lot less risk etc. etc..

Let�s face it. This business can be a strain on a relationship. How do we get the spouse up to speed and understand the possibilities and attainability of the rewards of being an A P? How do we show them just how close we are to making it happen?

I don�t have this problem yet, though I can see where it will most likely happen in the not to distant future. Nobody in my family really understands how good of a player I really am and just how close I am at becoming great with the returns to show for it.

Any words of wisdom from the veterans in this area is appreciated.

Stealth Bomber

PS Has anyone ever had their spouse watching them during a session of play at the BJ table: Your on a losing streak, your stack keeps dwindling and the drunk ploppy on the other side of the table has a truck load of green and black and is essentially showing your spouse how they are the great one while you just suck?

If you play high and are often under scrutiny have your wife/girlfriend walk up to the table (as if a tourist) just after you leave to listen to the conversation between the dealer and the pit boss. What is often overheard is valuable.

Spouses can also be good as lookouts while you are playing. You can concentrate on the game, and the spouse can watch the critters. One quick tell for counters to the pit is a rubbernecking player who seems to be watching the pit all the time, and is especially interested in phone calls. A spouse can do this in a discrete way and help you out quite a bit.

"How do we get the spouse up to speed and understand the possibilities and attainability of the rewards of being an A P?"

Easy, teach her the finer points of BJ, as well...

It is it's not really so easy is because the spouse doesn't see any extreme success. Even if I was extremely successful, I don't think she is cut out for the dedication, patients and effort it takes to get there. An A P must first go through the learning curve. A tremendous amount of time and effort is spent in the learning faze. Let face it, it's a mean world. Even though I am up 14K this year, I could have made 3 to 4 times that in my traditional business for the same amount of time and effort. Last year I made 8.5K and the year before was 18K until I was 86ed.

It's working but not good enough. Maybe I should take a break and build up a much larger bankroll. My bets have ranged from $5 to $200 during the last 3 years. I've been using from the bankroll for bills etc. So it's down now to only 7K. If it's going to work, I must learn more perfect math (play indices) with respect to my count system (AOII). Also have to get larger bets on the table. I assume twice the bet size would result in half as much time at the casinos. ??? That would be nice but the bankroll is too small now to try it.

Stealth Bomber

I know the feeling. My wife hates going to the casino but she will go with me occasionally. She plays the slots, which really cuts into my EV. I can't get her to sit at the bj table with me, much less learn to play. I had a big loss the other night and she really took it better than she has in the past. She sees that I win more than I lose and is beginning to understand the ups and downs. She just doesn't like the amount of time I spend in casinos. I told her that I want to move to Las Vegas one day and she said that she will go wherever I take her. I guess I'm a pretty lucky man.

It's working but not good enough. Maybe I should take a break and build up a much larger bankroll. My bets have ranged from $5 to $200 during the last 3 years. I've been using from the bankroll for bills etc. So it's down now to only 7K.

You said quite a bit about not your wife, but yourself in your post.

If you are using your BR to pay bills, then you are making a huge mistake, IMHO.

Bill-paying money and blackjack BR are two seperate entities, and the BR is considered to be money that can be lost without creating a problem in your normal financial dealings.

I allocate a certain amount of money for my BR. That money would not be missed if I lost it (perish the thought). It would not interfere with my ability to pay my bills, as it is not considered to be anything but a BR for blackjack.

If it's going to work, I must learn more perfect math (play indices) with respect to my count system (AOII). Also have to get larger bets on the table. I assume twice the bet size would result in half as much time at the casinos. ??? That would be nice but the bankroll is too small now to try it.

What I am seeing in your post is the fact that you are not playing perfectly to your count system.

Your words: I don't think she is cut out for the dedication, patients and effort it takes to get there. An A P must first go through the learning curve. A tremendous amount of time and effort is spent in the learning faze.

Perhaps it really isn't the spouse who is dedicating enough time, patience, and effort. Not to sound mean and unspirited, but it might be YOU who needs a little work.

You must play with a great deal of perfection in order to win at this game, as you generally only have a tiny edge over the casino at best. You might want to consider learning a different system that is easier to use, such as the Hi-Low or KO. Get the latest version of Casino Verite and practice, practice, practice, until you have it down perfectly , and don't even go inside a casino until you do that.

Also, you need to learn bet-sizing indices relative to the count and to your BR. All of the reliable books on blackjack have references to bet-sizing. Learn them, it's essential to your long-term EV, not to mention your financial ability to continue to play blackjack as an AP.

Hope this helps a little.

Good luck to you.

Regards,
drumz1

Stealth,

You have touched upon an issue that I'm certain confronts many married players, whether it be male or female. In many cases, the pendulum swings both ways. Once folks get a passion for something, they tend to dive in head first. Have you ever seen a woman hell bent on spending oodles of dollars on Hilfiger clothes for toddlers? How 'bout a spouse with a craving to continuously buy gifts for family members without consulting you? Or, send them money? How 'bout the furniture and nesting habit purchases that continuously drain our accounts? Bottomline, it goes both ways.

I sure there are circumstances that force players to keep a tight lid on playing abilities, wins, losses and bankroll amounts from family members. Probably more for self preservation, not only of our future in the game, but our cojones. I only have once vice in this world, and it's this game I love so much. My wife is aware of my interest, but is very cautious due to her practical and pragmatic upbringing. She knows when I need a break and will encourage me to go and play.

Emotion plays heavy in our decisions to be more open with our spouses, especially when they are highly emotional beings. When the time is right, I believe we all will be honest out of respect. If you can't, then no sense being married. As long as you trust your spouse to be fair minded, I believe it will turn out for the better regardless of outcome. I know you mentioned 'abuse' sort of tounge-in-cheek, but it can get nasty if you let it.

Best,
toddler

I had some really awful things happen to me unexpectedly and beyond my control outside of BJ. It got me for about 110K. That's why I had to use about 2/3 of my BJ bankroll in order to keep my head above water. Hey, at least it was there for me.

I think I need to concentrate on honing my skills with BJ study materials and getting my traditional business running a little smoother. Also, need to show the wife that she is much more important than BJ will ever be.

Thanks all.

Stealth B.

PS What�s the best state-of-the-art Casino Verite software for AOII? Is Casino Verite a brand name? Guess I�m still living in the dark ages. Maybe I have been spending too much time playing and not enough time staying up to speed with the latest study/practice materials.

PS What�s the best state-of-the-art Casino Verite software for AOII? Is Casino Verite a brand name? Guess I�m still living in the dark ages. Maybe I have been spending too much time playing and not enough time staying up to speed with the latest study/practice materials.

Casino Verite is a brand name, and is manufactured and marketed by QFIT card counting products. You can buy it from the bj21 catalog, simply by clicking on the "our catalog" link above this page, and scrolling down to "Blackjack Software". It's well worth the money, you won't be sorry.

Casino Verite supports AOII systems. Here is the text from the QFIT page:

Advanced Omega II single deck with mods for DAS and/or NHC
Advanced Omega II multiple deck with mods for DAS and/or NHC
Advanced Omega II single deck H17 with mods for DAS and/or NHC
Advanced Omega II multiple deck H17 with mods for DAS and/or NHC

Let us know how you do with it.

Regards,
drumz1

I am new here, but I heard music to my ears the other day. Our local community college has a BJ class, and my wife wants to learn how to play!

This will be great until she learns that there will be math in the class. =)

I have been learning how to count cards for over 6 months and have yet to master it. The thing is, I can get the count right, but in REAL LIFE, it is a bit harder to concentrate with the dealer talking and with the other players as well. I try to set 2 hours a day on the computer practicing counting, and when I have gone to the casino, I bet low amounts so that I won't lose while learning.

Also, look at playing the game as an investment. How much you have in your BR is going to determine what you get in ROI. If you have $200 and you win $100 you have a 50% ROI in ONE NIGHT! Remember that when you are playing, and when you walk away up some money, feel proud that you have made such a great return.

Patience in this game is a must. I often like to play later in the night when the hardercore players are on the tables, you get a better count, and you don't have rookies messing with hit cards, etc. Not to mention you don't have a wife breathing over your neck (mine goes to sleep early, even in Vegas!) and you can get a good 4 to 8 hours on the table. hehe

I think I will print your post and give it to the wife.

Thanks for your support. Maybe we'll all move to LV about the same time.

S B

PS You've got mail.

By the Mayor's wife...