Backlining big, mean ploppies
The ploppy is 6'6, 300lbs and sneers at you while crushing a chip to dust with his bare hand. Do you:
a) apologise and split;
b) apologise and play only one split hand;
c) apologise, and offer the ploppy $x to double instead? ($x must now be greater than the value of the crushed chip);
d) run.
The answer will, of course, depend on your utility function (e.g. if your utility is life expectation, you might choose to run). I am particularly interested in answers which maximise EV, especially if they generalise to any pair and any upcard.