Awesome Bonehead Plays for Benefit of Pit?

What are your favorite total bonehead plays, made to convince the pit that you're anything but a BJ expert? Any in particular that combine maximum effect without costing very much?

...that appear "bonehead" to the majority of pit personnel. Don't give them more credit than they deserve. They mostly are concerned with betting patterns and spread. Unless you're being watched by someone knowledgeable in surveillance, which you never can tell, there's nothing further to create.

Cobbson

Act stupid? Talk stupid? Ask what to do. Look bewildered. Drink hard liquor. Fumble with the chips. Let me think for more ideas.

Hit when you shouldn't. Stand when you shouldn't.

Do not double when you should. Only in a transitional count.

Split 6's against dealers 10. If the pit critter is watching when you're dealt 16 vs dealers low card say loudly "hit me, going for the five"!!!

Are well known to some pit personnel and may tip you off as a counter. The most notable are selectively taking insurance and hitting vs. standing on 16 vs 10, for example. Those plays, combined with bet variation, are the ones that draw the heat in my experience.

It is correct in negative counts to hit your twelve against a 4, 5, 6. This will make you look like a dummy, but it is actually the correct play. This is just an example of how the correct basic strategy deviation may make you appear unskilled when you are anything but.

The point is, unless the pit personnel and surveillance are familiar with these plays, then playing correctly is your best option. You won't give up any EV and there is inherent cover built in.

Other, more esoteric plays, like splitting 9's against an Ace are actually appropriate in positive counts. (The index numbers vary with the system) These are sure to confuse those around you as well as the pit.

Point: Just play right. Forget cover. It costs you money.

splitting 3,3 against an ace is one such play. Minimal cost and maximum benefit. But like others said you really don't need to do these plays.

Of course said trickery is done while your smallest bet is out.

Loudly proclaiming "I'm going for the five" when a minimum bet is out costs you nothing but sure makes you look like a major ploppy!

Bonehead plays will buy you precious little cover when the pit notes that you keep nailing the insurance bet over and over after you've been called out for "checks play".

It's rare that you'll keep "nailing" the Insurance option regularly. Even at a +5 TC, 65% of the time the dealer will not have the 10 underneath her Ace -- and you won't look very smart.

Hand camo plays (the right ones) cost far less than betting cover, and I think they make you look like an inconsistent, unpredictable goof. The ploppies will berate you and you can grow your harmless image in humble silence.

My 2 cents worth.