Attacking the Green Felt Tables
After hours of ugly stiffs,
Somehow my senses remain keen.
Though with another modest bet,
I now bust a fourteen.
Half hour more of awful cards.
In fact the worst I’ve seen.
Now down to a tiny bet,
Of course I get thirteen...
Finally the deck gets ripe and fat,
And I push out green chips high.
But this cagey dealer stops me short,
And then he begins to lie...
He claims he had to shuffle,
As the remains were way too thin.
But this is known as “shuffle up”...
And even a counter will never win.
Thus this table can’t be beat.
And I end this tragic session.
But this is all very fine,
As I’ve learned a critical lesson.
You see we need the cards dealt deep.
We count and know the remains.
And with odds in our favor,
We rake the larger gains.
I color up, and grab my few chips...
Then I head over to the cage.
I know these down swings are expected,
So they cause me no rage.
Hours in the grind I have spent.
And now a few blacks down...
But this will happen to a counter,
Even in this glitter town.
Needing a better table,
I head to another store.
Searching for that empty table
Other players no more
I’m comfortable at third base,
Until this drunk lights his smoke.
My eyes start to water,
And I almost gag and choke...
A table over is this a shady dude...
The pit eyes him for a cheat.
This is all fine with me,
’Cause he’s taking all the heat.
First hand dealt all small cards.
All the five’s and even a four.
Now the count is nice and high,
Prime for my big score.
A black and a tower of green,
I slip out under some red.
I distract the dealer with some bull,
And the cards are quickly fed.
My first card is a six.
My next, that expected ten.
Gees I have to wonder ...
Will these stiffs ever end?
Much to my surprise,
She shows a six, too.
Odds much against that,
As small cards are so few.
This time I will not bust,
As the best play is to stand.
Plus, with the fives gone,
I smell a nice profit this hand.
These locals and I - all stand pat.
So back to the dealer again.
Next she turns that hole card,
And of course it’s a ten.
Sixteen - Sixteen, now our totals...
However, she must hit.
As she deals her tiny three,
I scream out “holy ****” !!
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