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Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Casino
10. Your full house loses to the dealer's six-of-a-kind
9. They're playing "Will It Float?" in the lobby with a bag of fertilizer
8. There's a high-stakes table, a low-stakes table, and a kids table
7. Has strict no-gambling policy
6. Advertises that its slots are "almost as loose as your wife"
5. Free buffet is all-you-can-eat lemon wedges
4. One spin of roulette wheel lasts 7 to 10 days
3. Their big headliner: The withered corpse of Mel Torme
2. No Rat Pack, but there are packs of rats.
1. It has the word "Trump" in the name.
