Kim returned to Vegas recently with fond memories of the Topless Lebian Pool Party (posted last Summer). But I'm starting to have reservations about the profitability of my cover. After an early lucky win my party dined at one of the most expensive restaurants. I decided not to play for a comp because it was more profitable to play elsewhere. Hah, those fools! They charged only 1.5 units per plate. But it would be 2 units in other cities, and I would have gladly paid 2.5 units. I grinned at making 1 unit EV per plate in only a couple hours. But a little voice inside my head said this calculation was mistaken.
The next morning my wife came from the Spa to give me departure cover. She looked stunning and earnestly announced "I need 50 units to play high-denomination multiline video poker". I winked and left a negative shoe. Out of earshot I thanked her for this ruse, and she replied "Huh? I really want to play those big machines to earn lots of points. It's more exciting!". Hmmm. It was certainly cheaper to have her in the spa. Now I'm wondering whether my blackjack EV exceeds her negative video poker EV. Note to self: Come during the Summer when she stays by the pool all day.
My wife escorted me to another table and said "I really like the expensive bathroom fixtures in the spa. We have just got to order some for our new bathrooms." I grinned at this gratuitous cover and confidently returned to tables armed with cell phone cover for departure. My trip win reached 100 units when the pit boss noticed me and picked up his phone. As I left, my cell phone rang. "This is your bathroom contractor. The labor estimate has risen from 200 to 400 units." Even worse, the bathroom contractor sounded suspiciously like the pit boss. I hung up and the pit boss smirked at me. Is there a grand conspiracy here?
The cell phone rang again - it was my wife's employer. She later declined to return the call "They keep sending me big demanding clients. But I'm busy on vacation and will be preoccupied with bathroom and pool renovations next month." I raised my eyebrows and she continued "Should we get waterfalls like the Mirage pool?" Hmmm, maybe I should be grateful she doesn't want a volcano?
Starting trip bankroll: 100 units.
Starting wife's appearance: 10,000 units.
Spa treatments: -2 units.
Subsequent wife's appearance: 10,001 units.
Dinner: -6 units.
Blackjack win: 150 units.
Unexpected bathroom contractor: -200 units.
Video poker losses: -50 units.
Stock market gains: +100 units.
Net result: -8 units.
Relief at financial solvency: priceless.
